want VS. need

I'm sure this is a lesson the majority of you have all learned out there living your big boy and girl lives, but somehow I'm a little behind and though it often feels as if I'm alone in this, I am becoming more and more aware that that isn't the case. So this is for you poor hermits and homebodies, you left behind dreamers, you lazy S.O.B.s. - The difference between want and need -

Just because you need something, doesn't mean you want it. However, in order for your need to become a (successful) reality, you have to want it.  You may need a job (desparately), you may be on your very last penny, eating whatever is cheapest these days (not PB that's for sure), but unless you have that burning desire you're not going to make it happen.  That doesn't necessarily mean you won't find something, but unless you reach that point in your life where you want it so badly, you probably won't enjoy it and your success at it will be limited.

The same logic of need vs. want applies to everything, relationships as well. If you're the person that NEEDS someone or NEEDS the relationship, it's not going to be a healthy partnership. Dependency is only heartwarming for a very short amount of time. You need to be strong in your independence and confident in your ability to be successful on your own in order to have a healthy relationship. If you can achieve that, not only will you be able to contribute equally to a healthy partnership, but I imagine it would be a pretty great one.

I know this doesn't fit everyone, you have to have more of a personality like mine probably.  You have to be a naturally lazy person.  There are two types of lazy people: 1) those who are content doing nothing and just don't care and 2) those who just really can't help it sometimes. I like to place myself in the second category. I can want to get off my lazy ass like crazy, but sometimes there is just something preventing me. I'm going to say it's my sister's voodoo...

For people like me, I think you have to hit a special point in your life where you just go "What the fuck? How did I end up here?" Unless you hit that point, you're not going to feel that burning desire to make things change and you need that burning desire to be successful.

While I am incredibly happy for those who have found their success into adulthood and have so many wonderful things happening for them, I have to admit that I've become very bitter. While that bitterness was beginning to eat away at me and turn me into a person I didn't quite recognize, I think I have now discovered how to harness it and turn it into that heart-bursting want that I need in order to make substantial changes in my life.  

So this is me saying that I want it.  I want it all. And no matter how long it takes, I AM going to get it.

日本：江ノ島 Enoshima Quickstep

Yo. Once again, I've fallen way way WAY behind...but no one really cares, right? That's what I thought. I'd be surprised if I even get through this today. I am very easily distracted, even though I have nothing to do (laundry maybe but that can wait).

Today will be a "quick" recap of my trip to Enoshima Island back on Oct. 13, I think.(The usual disclaimer and apologies for format, grammar, photography, etc.)

Two main things to know about the island- 1) There is a lot of folklore related to it and 2) there are a lot of stairs.

Enoshima is a small isalnd that is part of the city of Fujisawa. It sits at the mouth of the Katase River which flows into Sagami Bay. The island, while considered the beginning of the resort area, is entirely dedicated to the goddess of music and entertainment, Benzaiten, who according to the Enoshima Engi, made it rise from the bottom of the sea in the 6th century. The Engi, written in 1047 AD by Kokei, the Japanese Buddhist monk, tells the tale of prehistoric villagers who were plagued for a period of some thousands of years by a destructive, five-headed dragon (Gozuryu:五頭竜)that had its lair in a bottomless lake in Fukasawa, Kamakura. In 552, Benzaiten, aware of their suffering, caused the island to arise out of the bay to serve as her abode. After she descended to the island, Gozuryu fell in love with the beautiful goddess and asked her to be his consort (You may be questioning how such a couple would work. I have no idea.). Benzaiten, apparently known for her "persuasuive eloquence" (something I will never possess), refused the dragons proposal (poor guy) and made him understand all the wrong he was doing. (Way to go, break the guys heart and then tell him what a bad dude he is.) Ashamed before the goddess he loved, Gozuryu promised to change his ways and worked hard for the people. Finally, he landed the girl, but eventually came to his death, upon which he promised the heavenly maiden that he would protect the island and the people forever. So naturally, he became a mountain facing the South towards Enoshima.

Bridge to Enoshima

Anyway, back to the trip. We took the Odakyu Enoshima line from Yamato to Katase Enoshima (about 25-30 min ride). You then have to walk across a 600m bridge over to the island. Islands with bridges are magical things (Mom and Papa K!). It was a beautiful day and people were barbecuing on the beach and going crazy on jet skis and whatnot. I was just happy to see the water. Nothing makes me feel better than a body of water ^-~.

Depiction of the other man?

It was insanely crowded, which did not bode well for my crowd anxiety, but I think the island is adorable. We were met by a tourism lady who was nice enough to give us an English map and give us a brief summary of what there was to do. Definitely helpful, but since the island is so small and there is really only one pathway to take, it was also probably totally unnecessary. But I'm grateful nonetheless.

Remember our once heartbroken then ashamed then loved, five-headed friend, Gozuryu? Well, there are definitly tons of dragons on this island and even on the way to the island. However, I have noticed that they in fact do not have 5 heads...did Benzaiten originally turn down Gozuryu cause she actually had a one-headed dragon she fancied? Hmmmmmm?

Entrance to Enoshima-jinja Hetsuno-miya

Another one-headed dragon...

This one was popular.

 

Part of Sagami Bay, the Olympic Harbor in 1964

I was born and bred an Atlantic girl, but the Pacific is undoubtedly gorgeous.

The Sea Candle

The south side of the island is known as Chigogafuchi. It is an ablation plateau about 50m wide. As the tide is out, the area is covered in active tidal pools and children chasing all the little sea creatures. A beautiful place to sit and drink a cold beer until the creepy little shrimp start scampering towards you. They scared me.

 This area is also the scene to the tragic, forbidden love story of Shiragiku, a servant of Sojo-in and Jikyu of Kencho-ji Kotoku-in.  Jikyu, finishing up a one hundred day pilgrimage at Enoshima, met a handsome young servant of the Sojo Temple while on his way down the stairs of Enoshima.


"The two fell in love and over the next two years Jikyu used the pretence of making pilgrimages to Enoshima to meet with his young love. But their love was forbidden and Shiragiku couldn’t stand to be away from his lover monk while he was at his temple.

The two made up their minds to commit shinjū - lover’s suicide or a double suicide. Shiragiku suggested that they jump from this spot, a spot where they had sat holding each other as they watched the sun set behind Mount Fuji.

Jikyu agreed and they held each other here for the last time. As the sun set behind Mount Fuji, Shiragiku sprang up and jumped off the cliff onto the craggy rocks below. Torn with grief for his love Jikyu followed him."


My favorite area was probably Enoshima Iwaya Cave, which has been gradually eroded by waves over a long period of time. The cave is composed of 2 caves, the first 152m long and the second 56m.

The one cave tells the story of the heavenly maiden and the five-headed dragon. Now, we were unaware what was at the end of the cave. All we knew was that we heard people clapping, so we figured maybe a shrine of some sort...turns out it was a dragon statue and if you clapped your hands, light would flash. My clapping did not work.

Enoshima Shrine- the original shrine of the island (Also the triforce)

The caves were lined with very old Buddhist statues, most of which, I believe, were found in the caves themselves. At the end of the other cave is the original Enoshima shrine. It was probably the best part--somewhat eerie.

I apologize for the bad photo. Caves are not easy to photograph for me.

Sweet, freakishly calm water and statues in the cave, complete with fish.

Chigogafuchi

This couple is matching and praying for their love.

Last stop was the Ryuren no Kane - The Bell of Dragon's Love. It was built it honor of the legend of Benzaiten and Gozuryu. People com here to ring the bell and pray for their eternal love.

The bell is also surrounded by those love lock things that people do. Just so you're aware.

Look at all this love that has been locked up!

And at this point the sun began to descend and so did my energy. As I said before, this island has SO MANY stairs. So many stairs that you can pay fare to use an escalator instead! Seriously!? Seriously.

As we headed back to the mainland, I realized I could finally see the ever elusive Fujisan. I call these the money shots.

ALSO: WTF are these spiders!? They are everywhere in Japan. They are the things of nightmares!

日本：京都 Kyoto Jive

I'm on a role this week! No? Yes. Yes I am. You can't deny it. Progress will be made whether it kills me or not. Why would it kill me you ask? Do you not know me by now? If you just answered, "Nope, I have no idea who you are" then my response is "Why are you reading my blog, stranger danger!?" It may kill me because, as much as I hate it, my natural being is what one would scientifically term, "a lazy ass." I fight against this reality every day and some days I may win the battle, but the war rages on.

OK. Reporting for duty. Today's objective: Kyoto.

Kyoto. Honestly, very different than the image I had in my mind. I think I envisioned a more contained city with small streets and a shrine or temple at every turn. Now there are a billion shrines and temples. It's a city steeped in culture, religion, and history, and much of it is simply amazing. But Kyoto as a city was sprawling. Not in the way that Tokyo is. Tokyo is large and in charge, with so much going on.  Kyoto was calm--large boulevards and homes along every street.  More suburban? ...But also not.

Caught the shinkansen from Shin-Yokohama to Kyoto Station. After some wandering, the guest house was finally discovered, hidden in a small backstreet next to a temple. Unfortunately, Ms. Tani wasn't at home, so instead of waiting around, wasting a chance to go explore, we left our backpacks and walked to Kinkakuji!

Definitely they way to start your Kyoto adventures.  Nothing quite hits you in the same way as a building two-thirds covered in gold leaf beside a tranquil Japanese pond on an overcast day.

We debated trying to hit another site before concluding the day, but the bus wasn't coming for a while and it was already almost 5pm (when most sites closed to visitors). So, Family Mart for some bentos and back to the guest house it was!  Ms. Tani was home and showed us to our little room.  She was confused I guess and messed the rooms up, but honestly we were fine in our tiny tiny one. A pretty awesome house.  Super old school Japanese. Tatami mats in every room, sliding doors, narrow staircase. Awesome. She even had some tea and cookies for us...cookies which happen to me my favorite cookies that I used to go get from Minamoto Kitchen by Rockefeller Center all the time when I called NYC my home (I think I still do). Bentos, cookies, and wifi. What else could one need?


Got an early start next day. Well, early for me. First stop! Ginkakuji! Kinkakuji is the "Golden Pavilion" and Ginkakuji is the "Silver Pavilion." Although, unlike Kinkakuji, it isn't actually plated in silver. [Side note here, if you ever go to Kyoto, take advantage of the bus system, especially the Raku buses which are specifically geared towards tourists and give you info in multiple languages. All rides (regular and Raku buses) = 220 Yen. ]

While Kinkakuji was the perfect way to start the Kyoto adventure, Ginkakuji was the perfect start to this day. We got there as it opened and were able to enjoy the tranquility of the grounds without being overwhelemed by tourists. This was the first place that really hit me. I've been to Japan before. I know stuff about it, I studied it in school for goodness sake, but I've never experienced first-hand the colors, the lushness, the lovely mysteriousness that hung in the morning air. I never thought a place would make me experience a feeling so closely resembling what one feels while watching a Miyazaki film. I'm not an eloquent person, so I can't fully explain it. But, I was definitely going to learn that this feeling and experience wasn't only confined to those specific grounds.

 

As the crowds started pouring in, Ginkakuji was left behind and a retreat was made to the peaceful Philosopher's Walk. Now this is closer to what I imagined for Kyoto--narrow, canal-adjacent, small cafes, boutiques, and home lined walk. I believe it was about a 2km walk to Nanzen-ji.

Nanzenji has vast grounds and numerous buildings you can explore. I only opted to hit a few which I was interested in. First thing one encounters on entering the grounds is the LARGEST, and I mean the LARGEST, gate I have ever seen.  I can't even explain the sheer mass of it. The Sanmon Gate (built 1628 I believe?) was constructed by the ruling Tokugawa for those who died in the seige of Osaka Castle. It is ridiculous. Kind of stops you in your tracks. Large and intricate. Insane.

 

The Hojo was the one building I opted to pay for entrance. (Not saying I bamboozled my way into any others...) This building was the former head priest's residence and has a number of gorgeous rock gardens and perhaps the nicest bathrooms I will experience while in Japan (Except for the tofu restaurant I went to in 2006).

Last to mention about Nanzenji is the aqueduct. I believe this aqueduct was built during the Meiji period to carry water from the mountains to the areas neighboring Kyoto. I even got to walk up to the top and walk along it for a ways to one of the pump stations. It was old and eerie and I loved it.

Next stop, Kiyomizu-dera ("Pure Water Temple") which was founded in like 780 on site of the Otowa Waterfall. It was originally associated with the Hosso sect of Japanese Buddhism, but formed it's own Kita Hosso sect in the 60s. By this point in the day, there were people EVERYWHERE. And to access Kiyomizu-dera you have to walk up a steep, narrow, people-filled street with shops and food stands all along the way. Now, if you know me (and we aren't having another stranger danger incident here), you may know that I have some asthma issues and a penchant for small anxiety/panic attacks when surrounded by tons of people I can't get away from. So, this wasn't the easiest walk for me. And although Kiyomizu-dera is quite impressive and has a lot to see, it wasn't my favorite stop of the day. It's still a beautiful spot with really impressive architecture. Who else has built a stage 13m above the hillside without nails? Crazy!

3 streams with different benefits-School, Love, and Longevity

 Finally, I got to experience the location I really wanted to see -- Fushimi Inari Taisha. A shinto shrine dedicated to Inari Okami. While Ginkakuji first made me experience the Miyazaki feels, Fushimi Inari introduced the superior mystery and sense that there was indeed something special about the place. This mountain shrine contains thousands of torii lining the path to the summit and probably hundreds of smaller shrines the entire way up. The mountain also houses tons of tiny nekos. I hadn't seen too many cats before coming here. I have a difficult time once again explaining how cool this place is. It was also gaining on dusk which added another element of mystery to the whole situation.

 

Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the summit. Turns out that mountain is a lot larger than I expected.

And there ended the shrine and temple exploration of Kyoto. Some dinner at Kyoto station and the discovery of the metropolitan side of Kyoto, including Kyoto tower and a hilariously awesome Aqua Fantasy show, brought us to the end of our day and restored us to Ms. Tani's house, this night in a much larger room--the party room. A night battle with mosquitoes and the cold brought us to the morning and our departure.

Tani House!  Like staying with your grandmother! Except less sass.

Kyoto Tower

This happened.  You know I couldn't resist.

Also, remember that time I saw the largest torii I'd ever seen on the path to Meiji Jingu?  Yea, this one out sizes that one by a ridiculous amount.